Tragic Symphonies

A Poem

By Kii Gxobole

When the music moves through me.
I dance with my demons and laugh at the darkness.
My feet twirl above hot coals of regrets.
My shadow holds me by the waist and we waltz on the ballroom laced with shame from things I’ve done.
My low self-esteem sings the blues.
My broken soul hums “The Blackest Day”
The piano melody cries of the dead hearts that froze to death at the hands of my cold soul.
My anthem is my prayer of begging and pleading.
My heart beats like the world is over.
My faith screams at the feeling.
My shattered hope leaps at the promise of a new lover.

When the music moves through me I dance with the angels and swim to the light.
The hatred clings on my shoulders holding onto my abundant love.
Jealousy plays the cello to lure me to greed.
The sounds of immorality blind me off any good deed.
I curse at the sun, dance to the storms.
Raindrops on my roof play melodies from the days of my tortured youth.
The winds hiss through the grass and kiss the skin brushing my coarse ill-mannered hair with stones.
My eagerness dies at the beat of my misfortunes coupled with suicide goals.
My affection sings along to disappointments of failed love.
Envy plays me green, like the view of the world from a turtle dove.

When Symphonies kiss my ears heated with crackling fire on the winter rush. I weep.
I recall the shackles I fought so hard to escape in my adolescence.
I still hear the falsetto of disapproval from those who thought they knew life better and felt uneasy at my presence.
My guitar notes still remind me of the world I always longed for, somewhere I’ll feel like I belong.
So long, would be the road to my freedom but I’ll kill off the distance with my lonely but happy song.
Prolong, my journey to Utopia so I can have enough time to sing a swan song to the world I’ve always loathed for doing me wrong.
Even so I’ll dance and transcend.
I’ll take my shadow and my verbrata, and we’ll spend eternity in my new home in a foreign land.