As I Stand Here

A Poem

By Tijana Šarac

As I stand here by the shore, my eyes are gazing upon the water trembling under my feet.

I  stand firmly, yet I stand alone. I watch the waves as they play with the wind, and the sky reflected in the depths of the sea.

They are companions, and they keep moving in unison. Their rhythm makes each other come and go, come and go…

Nothing is forced. Their dance is sometimes fierce, sometimes gentle, but always joyous. Always a celebration of their union.

Even the sun and the rock become one, when her light reflects on his surface, as the water washes away their otherness.

And I stand there firmly, yet I stand alone.

My feet are touched by all of the elements. Water pours over me, the sand is holding me, air moves through me, the sun is embracing me.

And yet, I stand here alone.

I cannot conceive that I am one of them. Their rhythm keeps flowing, while I wither away, for my limbs are numb.

Bittersweet emotions fill my being when I watch their harmony and their endless dance. But I cannot move.

I am alone.

Who would I move towards? Who would embrace my steps as I keep going? For now, I cannot dare.

There is distance between myself and the elegance of the sea, as if all of existence is between us, though she keeps caressing me, inviting me.

But I… cannot move.

If I dare to make a step, she could swallow me. If I dare to turn away, I might never see her again. So what should I do?

I am alone.

I am a bystander to the movements of the universe. Maybe this is the blessing and the curse of the one in solitude.

Because I look upon the world with a detachment and a longing – for what? I do not know.

But the sea is generous, she kisses my feet as they stand here alone. And all her companions aid her in making the shore a home to my solitude.

If they should ever reject me, I am lost. If they should ever stop dancing, I will be finished. If they should ever escape me, I will be hollow.

But I rest assured… knowing that they won’t. They keep dancing.

And sometimes, I feel it is my solitude that makes me part of them –

As I stand here alone.