Nenekuş (Meditating with Flowers)

A Documentary

By Elif Fatima

Last spring when I was in the waiting room for my first therapy appointment I had a million thoughts racing through my mind. I knew that I wanted to heal and I was afraid of what that process would mean stepping into this space. 
In a wondrous twist of events, my film about my grandmother’s journey to healing coincided with my own healing. Once I began digging deeper within to find the roots of my suffering, my project was also being moulded into something more emotionally honest than I had imagined. 
Three generations were involved in the making of this film.
 My grandmother and mother were not just subjects but they were also the makers- creating shots through the feminine spiritual gaze. This film was guided by intuition and intentionality and attention to space and detail. Through this practice, both in form and content, this film became a meditation of intergenerational healing. My mother created a lot of the shots which was important to me because her approach to filmmaking was so different from my own. The feminine spiritual gaze created an atmosphere of cinematic vulnerability and intentional experimentation. The project took a life of its own and I did my part in allowing it to transform into what it was meant to be- a process of healing. 

Elif Fâtıma Görken is a filmmaker and writer from Istanbul. Her work focuses on gender and Islamic mysticism aiming to explore visual storytelling from a decolonial lens.